Larder-Maxxing: Why Stocking Your Freezer Beats Every Biohack

Remember the other day when I was like "everything is going so well and we're so back and we're gonna sell a few steak bundles to celebrate"?

Well that was a very, extremely, unimaginably long time ago.

There's been a substantial vibe shift this week.....

Yesterday, my family came downstairs to discover that our dog had pooped all over the house.

All. Over. The. House.

Once that situation was handled, I glanced out the window and saw the gate to Amelia's sheep and donkey paddock had popped wide open.

If you've never had to corral two donkeys loose in a 40 acre field filled with fresh spring grass, you cannot fathom how hard I hustled to get outside and close that gate before they realized that they were free....

Oh and there's a 3 year old and a 6 week old living in my house (ok, they are our children), and the first half of my work day was spent simultaneously having a father/daughter make believe tea party to avoid a "Monday morning toddler crash out" of epic proportions. (Same 3-year-old I wrote about when I explained why I let my toddler run the kitchen.)

So I was feeling a little frazzled when I got to my desk around noon...

None of which has anything to do with our amazing 100% Grass Fed Beef, and yet I share all of this to remind you that....

Everyone here on our farm is a normal person

Well.... "normal" might be a stretch, but you get what I mean.

We're regular people. We've got insane lives that include kids, pets, a small business, actual responsibilities, homes that needs work, so much poop, etc.

Basically, we get it.

The wellness industrial complex is not built for real life

Meanwhile, Health and Wellness popular culture has been taken over by 20 year old "coaches" and grifters with nothing but time on their hands.

Look, I am a PROUD tin foil hat owner who does not trust..... big agriculture, big pharma, our government, the regular media, social media, literal grocery stores, and so on.

But hyperventilating about the 38 biometrics you're supposed to track on your wearable, or your biohacking + supplement regimen is not the answer to our health crisis. This behavior simply cannot be good for you. I refuse to believe it. I do not care how peer reviewed any of the data is.

This is the kind of study I care about….

I don't wholesale endorse every aspect of that old Italian guy's lifestyle that I saw in a meme on the internet. Us Americans are probably all too geeked out on stress and glyphosate to pull that vibe off....

But it's directionally accurate.

And I know for sure that no real person needs 12 extra steps in their day. I have never seen a single wellness influencer hop on instagram and be like "I didn't have time for my ice bath and coffee enema this morning because my dog pooped on half of my earthly possessions." Which means they are either liars or tightly wound weirdos with lifestyles and advice that are not at all applicable to you and me. Or both.....

What is larder maxxing?

My solution to this conundrum is larder maxxing.

Stocking up aggressively a few times a year, so that your vibes can be exceptional and unbothered on all the other days.

Live like a nona, babushka, abuela, or (insert other term for grandmother)....

• Reserve a beef share so that you are always stocked up on healthy, nutrient-dense protein that renders a pile of supplements obsolete.
• Load up on canned tomatoes. Rice. Beans. Root vegetables. Dry goods. And, for the love of god, a bountiful variety of SPICES!!!!
• No matter who you are, your ancestors would be appalled to find out that you have ON DEMAND access to spices from around the globe and use like 3 of them. People fought brutal wars over yummy seasonings.
• Then pull out a roast (they are rich in collagen!)
• Get out a bottle of "cooking wine," use maybe a quarter cup for cooking and knock the rest back just to take the edge off.
• Pop all your ingredients in the slow cooker / dutch oven / hole in the ground filled with embers / vessel of your choice.

Then just relax.

Larder maxxing is just stocking your freezer (and your pantry) like your grandmother did

Play some cards. Rip a few heaters (just remember to get the American Spirits, they are organic, and science says organic things cannot hurt you). Acquire an old timey revolver and throw your phone in the air and shoot it because knowing what's happening in the world all the time is a nightmare and we should be getting our news from a weekly newspaper purchased from a young victorian street urchin screaming "extra, extra". Or whatever relaxing activity floats your boat.

And enjoy that nourishing meal with your family.

That's the whole point of a beef share: a freezer full of real food, bought in one trip, that quietly handles dinner for the next 6 to 12 months while you live your actual life. No app. No subscription. No 12-step morning routine. The freezer does the work.

The beef share benefits, in plain English

Stock up a couple times a year. Save money per pound. Skip the grocery store meat aisle (and whatever's going on over there). Eat better than 99% of people without thinking about it.

That's larder maxxing. That's the whole pitch.

All of this can be a reality when you....

Reserve your next Beef Share here.

Not sure which share size fits your larder? Take the 60-second beef share quiz and we'll point you at the right one.

Your Farmer,
Josh

P.S. Fake General Counsel here, Josh is not a doctor, lawyer, or anything else that entitles him to give advice. Please don't take up smoking or discharge revolvers into the air based on the ramblings of a deranged farmer you met on the internet.