Is There Glyphosate in Your Beef? (A Rant That Starts With a Tractor Supply Email)

Last night I received an email from Tractor Supply.

If you don't live near a Tractor Supply, its a box store specializing in all things rural and farm. Tractor parts, chicken feed, Carhartt everything, etc.

Now, I like Tractor Supply. I own a tractor, and we often need supplies. We are basically in demo for them.

But the email that I received was so scandalous and incendiary, that I have to assume they were hacked by the Big 4 Meatpackers who sent it just to piss me off.

Are. You. KIDDING ME?

I feel like a Vegan who somehow made it onto my own newsletter.

My eyes burn.

"Stock Up On Chemicals!"

"3.5 GALLON CHEMICAL BUCKETS FOR BIGGER JOBS!"

What kind of autopilot, NPC s**t is this?

"Well Whattaya Know, spring is here, time to spray poison on the ground! Gee golly gosh, I need a bigger sprayer for all the poison I need for the DANDELIONS IN MY YARD."

What did the weeds DO to you?

By the way, dandelions are (1) edible, (2) quite nutritious, (3) an extremely fun thing for kids to pick and cook (they are yummy if you fry them up into little fritters).

Basically a magical free little plant that appears everywhere that we've chosen to wage chemical warfare on because OF COURSE WE HAVE.

Ok, ok, I got that out of my system, and I have a serious question for America……

What did the weeds DO to you?

Can you show me where did the bad weeds hurt you?

Did the dandelions growing in the cracks in your driveway attempt to abduct you or your loved ones and traffic you to an Eastern European Crime Syndicate?

Is this a Taken situation?

Do I need to call (longtime reader and friend of the farm) Liam Neeson?

Blink twice if they are in the room and you need assistance…..

*alternates huffing into a paper bag and smoking cigarettes in a single pull like a cartoon character from back in the day when cartoon characters ripped heaters*

Ok, ok, I REALLY got that out of my system this time. Promise.

How did we get here?

In all 100% seriousness folks.

How did we get here?

To where it is Standard Operating Procedure to SPRAY POISON all over the ground to make sure only the kind of plants we want will grow there.

Including, of course, ground that is currently growing plants that PEOPLE ARE GOING TO EAT.

This kind of thing certainly isn't "normal" but it is unfortunately the status quo in this country.

(And to be clear, I try not to sell beef by scaring people. Here's my take on fear-first food marketing if you want to see where I draw that line.)

It just ain't set up for people like me and you (ya know, human beings who prefer not to be poisoned).

Between the....

• Texas sized area that we spray with RoundUp every year (leading, hysterically and predictably, to "super-weeds" that are immune to the poison)
• The executive order invoking the Defense Production Act to shield chemical companies from liability
• The various attempts in recent legislation to make it illegal to sue those chemical companies in the first place, which they lobbied for after settling $11 BILLION in lawsuits.
• The Supreme Court's recent ruling in favor of Bayer-Monsanto, which formally strips states of the power to require their own glyphosate cancer warnings (the long-game lobbying playing out in real time)
• And marketing these noxious chemicals harder than ever in every hardware store in America

The national, government driven trend appears to be Glyphosate-Maxxing (did I do that right, Gen Z readers?).

I don't really know what the master plan is here. When everything is sprayed into oblivion and us pesky plebeians are gone and the billionaire AI and Chemical tycoons inherit the earth? Do they have a plan? Are all the "serious people" in charge just so absolutely zooted on ketamine and Ba'al worship that they aren't worried about it?

Signs point to yes....

Is there glyphosate in your beef?

But in the meantime, obviously there's much work to be done.

It's not a quick lift to stop Tractor Supply from selling chemical buckets like they're Costco-pack paper towel or the Defense Production Act or the lobbyists or whatever cabal is pushing this stuff from their headquarters in the core of the earth.

But....

You can get a freezer full of beef from cows that have never touched a drop of glyphosate, eaten a single GMO corn kernel, or licked a sprayed pasture in their lives.

100% grass-fed, 100% grass-finished, and so forth. Raised on land we manage like our kids are going to eat off of it, because they are (literally, Juniper eats the dandelions)

(If you want the nerdy version of why "100% grass-finished" is the part that actually matters here, here's the difference between grass-fed and grass-finished beef. And here's the 40+ plants our cows actually eat, dandelions included.)

If you're tired of the status quo and you'd like to opt your family out of it, one cow at a time, you can reserve your next Beef Share here.

P.S. Our Fake General Counsel has asked me to clarify that I've never met Liam Neeson and have no reason to believe he's a reader. BUT I do think we'd hit it off and if you're reading this Liam I would love to ship you beef.